I Wish for World Peace

Killing was supposed to be a last resort. If Mendoza meant to take innocent lives, he didn't have to wait 10 hours to do it; neither would he have released the old lady, the mother and her children, a total of nine hostages.

Mendoza was not a terrorist. He was not a martyr. He didn't try to take over the world. He didn't want 100 billion dollars. His demand was clear: he wanted his shitty job back.

As the hostage situation unfolded, more than I feared for the Hong Kong tourists on the bus I was sympathizing with Mendoza. All I could think of was the desperation he must've felt losing his job and his pension at such an age, even if it were a consequence of his own wrongdoing; the self conflict he must've gone through as he deduced that threatening to kill a bunch of tourists was his only glimmer of hope; the gravity of his solemnity leading up to the morning of the incident well knowing that he could end up dead by sundown.

This wasn't a spontaneous act of some teenager who's spent so much time playing video games that he one day loses sight of what's real and what's not and decides to take a knife to his mother's neck. This was a 55-year-old veteran with a wife and two children whom he once worked as an honored police officer to support. He was not a cold-blooded killer. The incident was thought out. He made a conscious decision to wager all that he had left. He just failed to realize that the lives of 15 tourists weren't enough for him to use as a bargaining chip.

"Poor handling of the hostage negotiation", "inadequate capability, skills, equipment and planning of the assault team", "improper crowd control", "inadequate training and competence of assault team leader," and "non-compliance to media relations procedures in hostage situations" would have all been good excuses if the incident wasn't dragged on for 10 hours. With that amount of time, a new assault team with younger and stronger members could have been assembled; they could have received basic training on things to look out for in dealing with hostage situations (e.g. when kicking down a door, do it in one go); additional equipment could've been sourced; they could've called a friend.

Knowing squat about negotiation tactics, I would imagine the first few hours in a hostage situation to be the most critical in determining the outcome. Considering the lack of action taken by the PNP during those critical hours, was it really any surprise that Mendoza reportedly "went berserk" in the end? My guess is that Mendoza, who set out to negotiate, went from being eager to calm, then anxious, and finally distressed — much like anyone would in any situation where they've waited 10 hours for something they feel they rightly deserve. Why any law-enforcement or government authority would wait 10 hours with 15 innocent lives at stake and allow a hostage-taker to become distressed and berserk is anybody's guess. No attempt was made to leverage Mendoza's act of kindness and negotiate for the release of more hostages. No attempt was made to manipulate or at least control his emotions. No attempt was made to lure Mendoza near a window so the sniper who ended up taking him down with a single clean shot could have done so a lot sooner. No attempt was made to minimize casualties.

Whether Mendoza's ordered dismissal from the force was just or he was a helpless scapegoat, it really doesn't matter anymore. But I do look forward to seeing some gutsy investigative journalism on corruption in the PNP and the Philippine government.

I am very, very sorry for the deaths, injuries and trauma suffered by the Hong Kong victims. But I am more saddened by this world that could push someone so far over the edge that drastic measures become the only measures; a world in which one's desperations could be so grave that human lives — his own or others' — could lose all value. This is happening everyday all around the world. Mendoza's plan would've been the same had it been any other tour group that happened to had stopped at Rizal Park at that moment with a bus full of foreigners, in which case I doubt the Hong Kong people would have shown even comparable levels of compassion. This could've just easily have happened in China, with a Chinese gunman taking a group of foreigners hostage. Where would Hong Kong stand then?

Seriously, can anyone fathom the perversion of a world in which it's normal for someone who barely finished highschool in one part of the world to end up hiring a university graduate from another part of the world to do their dishes? I wish to stop hearing moronic comments like wanting to fire their domestic helpers because of this incident, or swearing never to visit "a place like the Philippines", or anything about a "nation of servants".

Let's Talk Girl-on-Girl

Alright. That's it. I hadn't had a thing to blog about for the past seven months, but a comeback is in order. Why? Because I can't stand my own boyfriend, who by the way doesn't even like to read, reading that pathetic excuse for a column in that sad excuse for a newspaper (a.k.a. The Standard) and sharing that lame excuse for a columnist's "funny" "insights" with me at the end of a day like he's learned something from it.

On to the most interesting piece of news I've heard in a while: Secretary convicted of indecent assault for groping receptionist's boobs

33-year-old Ms Chung claimed she was just fooling around. The judge didn't buy it and neither do I. There has to be strong reasons for someone who's been with the same company for 12 years to all of a sudden molest a same-sex colleague, twice.

College years are there for good reasons. It's your last chance to be young and stupid (as opposed to being old and stupid thereafter), to act like a moron and try things, weird things, and be able to blame your behavior on peer pressure. For actual higher education, go to grad school. Unfortunately for some people, college is not an option, or the "phase" comes way later when the price to pay is much higher (maximum 10 years' imprisonment). I don't think it was coincidental that Chung's two offenses took place just months before she got married. It might have been an outburst of years of pent-up confusion over her sexual orientation, or she was perfectly clear all along and was making one last attempt to come out of the closet.

But let's say Chung is completely straight, there are still various logical explanations for her behavior:

1. It was recommended by the book 17 Things You Must Do Before Getting Married
Don't swear off homosexuality till you've tried. - Check

2. Wedding-planning stress got the best of her
People do radical things when they snap under stress. Some brides-to-be flee, others put their finger in another woman's cleavage.

3. She's shopping around for a boob job
She did comment on the victim's breasts "not looking fake" before making contact. Though there's no information on the authenticity or size of the victim's breasts.

4. She's soliciting a third player in the bedroom
Remember that episode of SATC when Samantha gave Richard the gift of 3P for his birthday? Investigation should look into Chung's special occasions with the hubby around the time of offense.

A follow-up article in Sing Tao interviewed a Dr Lai from the Mental Health Association of Hong Kong, who commented that in addition to "opposites attract", past research has shown the possibility of same-sex attraction, some even to the extent of rendering sexual arousal. Yes, for a report on this rare indecent assault case, they dug up past research from 1872.

Failing Attempts

I'm having the hardest time grasping this new policy on the medium of instruction in secondary schools.

Our government is setting aside HK$640 million to brush up the English-language skills of teachers. Not students, but teachers. In addition to the subject(s) specialized in, secondary school teachers must also strive to be fluent English speakers. It's so that a science teacher could focus on something other than science and teaching and instruct his classes in broken English; and students could struggle more than they already do by trying to decipher local accents, grammatical errors and mispronounced vocabulary. How did sticking with the language everyone's comfortable with become less than ideal?

In enhancing one's language skills, the importance of exposure cannot be denied. Sesame Street and other children's programs, story books, songs and playgroups work wonders. If I were a parent, the last thing I'd want is for my kid to pick up a second language by listening to those who don't speak it. It’s bad enough that half the Filipino domestic helpers here already double as English tutors for their little masters. Why would you expect kids to learn English from teachers who were never meant to teach English, most of whom were probably educated locally in Chinese?

I would think that HK$640 million is plenty for establishing a bona fide language immersion program as part of our city’s education system ― one that employs qualified native-English-speaking teachers in each subject area; one that truly surrounds students in an English-speaking environment in and outside of the classroom. Or better yet, set aside some space at the West Kowloon Cultural District for an English Village.

Even more baffling is how this new policy is supposed to reduce the labeling that is so deeply rooted in Hong Kong’s education system. Starting with the first year of kindergarten, students are distributed based on their abilities ― “A” being the class with the supposed brightest students. I can still remember being placed in the “D” class in fifth grade as a result of getting a D grade in one subject the previous year, even though I had all A’s and B’s otherwise. It was such a big deal; I thought I was doomed for life.

It's precisely this competitive environment embraced by parents, educators and students alike from the very early stages of life that makes Hong Kong "Hong Kong". This is the place with an established banding system for secondary schools. Chinese or English as the medium of instruction, one school will always be more prestigious than another. You just can't have your Ivy-League-breeding education system and eat your neutrality across the student population too.

Fools

Had I known about the minimum age requirement for the Olympic gymnastics competition, I would've said the very first time I saw the China team "Those girls aren't 16!" In reality, having undergone years of China's boot camp training, mentally they're all 45. And you can be sure the kids inside are long gone.

Sore second-place winners with desperate measures may have uncovered evidence on the girls' real age, but China would encourage freedom of speech before they'd admit to issuing fake IDs to their athletes, lose face and be stripped of what gold medals are already in their pocket. And come on, if you found out you'd lost to a bunch of little girls, isn’t it better the reason to keep your mouth shut?

Through the Beijing Olympics, China’s demonstrated not only its determination to fulfill its role as the host to this world event and its capacity to turn at least Beijing into a modern city of international standards; but more importantly, China's shown its true ability to fool the world, and get away with it. With just one day to go, all eyes are on China to see how quickly it turns right back into the communist nation it’s so good at being. I hear they’ll be sending in the Fuwas on inflatable tanks at the closing ceremony.

It's an Option

"Euthanasia is an extremely complicated subject associated with important values in society and medical ethics which requires in-depth social debates. Due to a lack of consensus in society, we do not intend to propose anything changing the current state," said a spokeswoman from the Food and Health Bureau.

I just can’t seem to grasp how extremely complicated a subject euthanasia is.

The value of a life is determined by the one who lives it, not the society, and certainly not medical personnel. The only debate over euthanasia should be among a patient’s family members, but in the end, the only consensus that's needed on the matter is between the patient’s left and right brains.

In the age where medical mishaps accounts for as many unnecessary patient deaths as we hear about everyday, plus the cases authorities manage to keep under wraps, it's all too ironic that the one person who has every natural right to decide on the fate of a life needs government legislations to allow him to exercise that right.

Sick pets are put to sleep every day because it's inhumane to keep them suffering knowing that there’s no chance for recovery. Just as often, anti-abortion voices are broadcasted on mass media with the message that nobody has the right to decide an unborn child’s right to live.

Ultimately, life and death are parallel truths. One exists only with the other. To truly support the right to life, we need to respect the right to death just the same.

It’s simple as that.

Very Funny

Whoever said Hong Kong could accommodate a 10 million population has obviously had his bowtie around his neck a little too tight for a little too long.

If bold suggestions like this are ever acceptable, it'd come from someone who makes no more than a middle-class income; who lives in a rented rat hole; who takes the bus; who works 50 hours per week excluding overtime; who can't afford to shop for groceries at City Super; who doesn't have a chauffer nor a chef nor Kois nor a friggin pond to keep Kois in.

In which new world thesaurus is "overcrowding" synonymous with "strength as global financial hub"? Do we not have enough mainlanders as is? Do we really want to take in more immigrants? Or are we going to rely on the 40 households that actually have both the money and time to take Donald's advice to have at least three children each?

The UN's latest report has just confirmed that Hong Kong has the world's lowest birth rate. We are barely refilling the death rate. Following the logic that the higher birth rates usually come from underdeveloped regions, we're one hell of a super city.

The younger generation of today, which we're so counting on, is already being brought up by foreign domestic helpers. To compete with New York and London and other big shot cities, Hong Kong hasn't had time for sex for the past five decades. More often than not, the babies that do come into the world through Asia's world city are results of low-quality, copied-in-China contraceptives. Making ends meet for one person is hard enough here, where would we find the time, money and energy to raise a kid, let alone three?

You wanna compete with New York and London? Give us democracy.

Jail Time Barbie

For every four days of good behavior, the rest of Paris Hilton's 45-day sentence can be reduced by one day. That means she could be getting out before they could bring in Nicole Richie, whose verdict isn't till the end of the month. The court should've ordered the filming of the next season of "The Simple Life" to take place in the LA county jail. I'd like to see these girls try and charm their way out of this.

That's hot, alright.

The princess was released early by Sheriff Baca, who has a reputation for giving special treatments to celebrity inmates, after spending just three days in stripes, on the grounds of an unspecified medical condition that was later quoted by Fox News as a "nervous breakdown". This is not a medical condition or even a scientific term but simply defined as an "incapacitating emotional disorder". For someone who's had but one single stressful episode in her life known as "A Night in Paris", jail time must wear her out more than it does anybody else. In severe cases, a nervous breakdown could lead to the mental detachment from reality. So really, Paris has nothing to worry about, since she's already suffered from this condition her entire life.

This is poor parenting at its worst. Which loving mother would let her kid drive under the influence multiple times on a suspended license? Just how much more time, money and energy must Californians waste on educating the world's most spoiled brats and stupid parents? Hopefully this lesson is hard-leaned enough for Paris. And the Hilton family really has judge Sauer to thank for teaching it.

The Importance of Being Eccentric

Some $100,000 of taxpayers' hard-earned money went to sustain the extravagant lifestyle of a retired judge and his barrister wife, who all along had a house in Vancouver and more cash in the bank account than a lot of people make in a year.

Jackson-Lipkin sure got a hell of a birthday present. His eminent buddies worked their magic and transformed the old couple's "eccentric approach to life" into two get-out-of-jail-free passes.

This is likely the only time in history someone sentenced for welfare fraud has gotten successful appeal and immediate release. The act of mercy on the grounds of old age and poor health makes perfect sense, had the couple pleaded guilty to begin with. But we're talking about well thought-out and executed fraud, with every intention to delay court hearing.

This is one distressing example of how much power the social elite has on, well, everything.

Rat Race

Which is the sincerer form of flattery? Farfour the Jihad non-Mickey Mouse, or the state-owned we're-not-imitating-Disney amusement park in Beijing?

To some, China's status as the world factory is still debatable. But from soy sauce to Ferrari, its indisputable rank as the world copier gets Xerox jealous.

Chinese people are too smart. They do only what they do best—manufacturing—and leave the costly marketing to Disney. It doesn't even matter that the imitation mouse's ears are smaller than Mickey's, because the imitation outnumbers the genuine article so many times over people accept it as norm. And as if a population of 1.3 billion is not big enough a market, these imitation goods can be found worldwide. Factory workers are already pulling overtime now that every Muslim child has Farfour on their wish list. If only Disney could their hands on some of this newfound revenue, the loss made at Hong Kong Disneyland is but spare change.

What Women Wouldn't Do...

To look good, that is. Came across this line of product spec twice today:

Variable temperature control: 130°C to 190°C

The first time in the features list of a 2.5L deep fryer; the second time in that of a hair straightener.

I haven’t been able to shake this image of a woman dipping her hair in a deep fryer out of my head since.

"US Body Power"

To me, the selling point "Buy one and you can use if for life. Why not give it a try?" sounded like a cheap shot to get the uneducated, over-the-hill portion of our population to spend a couple hundreds of dollars on a useless piece of crap in exchange for a tiny shred of hope to miraculously stay disease-free. I was truly amazed to learn that those assholes have been charging $4,000 for that piece of crap known as the "US Body Power" necklace, and even more so to hear that at least six people have made this luxurious purchase.

Come on, was anyone genuinely surprised to hear about the Consumer Council's report on the fact that the claims made by the advertisements for the necklace was all crap? I guess for the superficial, carrying a little pouch of shattered crystals around should at least provide peace of mind, considering others carry pieces of yellow papers around and achieve no less. But from what I know, those yellow paper cost no more than one's voluntary contribution to a temple.

I've always imagined that the only reason why anyone would buy this amazing necklace only does so in hopes that if they sell enough units they'll stop running that bloody revolting TV ad. I sure am glad I don't have to hear Ah Dee's voice again.

Ashes to Ashes

Those PR reps who continue to ignore my request to stop faxing over press releases I also receive soft copies of by e-mail should be glad to know that the paper they're so eagerly helping to consume have another good use to go to. The very action of my tossing paper into the recycling bin now has whole new karma, because our city might soon start making our very own cost-effective and environmentally friendly paper coffins.

During the few minutes of the radio program I caught this morning, a guest/caller commented that cremating the dead in paper coffins is highly problematic because the dead can feel what he/she is using. Immediately I was overcome with anxiety while images of various offerings flashed before my eyes. The clothes, shoes, gold watch, seven-story mansion, Rolls Royce, mahjong tiles and mahjong buddies we offered to my grandfather when he died were all made of paper! Has Grandpa been cursing us all these years for giving him flimsy furniture?

It sure is good to know that even up to the moment I burn into ashes, there's that much more I can do to help the environment. But if you really believe you can feel the difference between wood and cardboard after you die, you might not want to put yourself through the blistering cremation causes.

Woman On Top

Finally, a Chinese from Hong Kong—and a woman—holds the top job in a major UN agency. I'm as ashamed as this "achievement" is remarkable. Makes me wonder if the adrenalin from this big promotion keeps Dr Chan awake at night more so than being haunted by 300 ghosts.

George W Bush's got a lot to learn from China on buying votes. Had Shih Ming-de seen what the world has come to earlier, he would've shrugged and said "The hell with it. Let Chen Shui-bian's wife keep her coupons, and throw in some extra gifts too."

Good luck world. It's a middle-aged woman behind the wheel, and this one's known for NOT signaling.

Plastic, Plastic Everywhere

How can Hong Kong be consuming only 33 million plastic bags—five per resident—a day? I use more than that, and I'm already one of those making a conscious effort to use less!

Breakfast is delivered to my office every morning in a plastic bag. If I decide to have a sandwich, that comes in another smaller plastic bag. Even if I were to skip the meal and only get a cup of coffee, it is delivered in a cute little plastic bag that fits the cup rather perfectly. Lunch is pretty much the same ordeal unless I eat out.

In the evening I take my routine lap around the Japanese supermarket in my neighborhood. I don't buy much, but people here seem to think "good service" means giving you a separate transparent bag for every single item you purchase that's not completely dry. The pack of sushi would be separate from the pack of strawberries would be separate from the carton of OJ would be separate from the tub of Häagen-Dazs, all of which would then be consolidated into one big plastic bag baring the supermarket's logo.

Without even buying a newspaper, or anything from any bakery, I'm already using more than five plastic bags a day.

I personally believe the little transparent plastic bags used at the supermarkets are the culprit. They're too flimsy to be reused even as garbage bags. So they're good for absolutely nothing after the first use.

Another problem is the plastic tubes given out at entrances of commercial buildings and department stores on rainy days. Tenants/customers are encouraged to carry their umbrellas in these elongated plastic bags around the premise, so the umbrella would drip in the bag and not on the ground. A lot of times, people carry their umbrellas like they would canes by poking it on the ground with every step they take. Soon enough a hole is made on the bottom of the plastic tube, and a trail of rainwater is left on the floor anyway. Moreover, garbage cans around the premise would be stuffed and covered with these elongated plastic bags, most of them containing rainwater.

April 15 will be Hong Kong's first No Plastic Bag Day. Some 1,200 supermarkets and retail chains have already agreed to take part by charging shoppers 50 cents for each requested plastic bag that day. The proceeds are to go to Oxfam Hong Kong.

Only in Hong Kong would we sell what we're trying to discourage people to use, just to give the proceeds to an irrelevant charity. Here's an idea: Get a couple million woven bags from China with the words "No Plastic Bag Day, April 15" printed on both sides, sell them at the participating merchants for $5 a piece and donate the proceeds to Green Peace.

Year of the Chicken

It only takes a certain few smart asses to mess things up for everybody else. Case in point: Smugglers ignoring poultry peril.

The Customs and Excise Department seized 82kg of illicit poultry meat and two live chickens at the border in the first five days of this month alone. To prevent bird flu from spreading to the SAR, customs has stepped up surveillance along the border since October, in an assignment ironically codenamed Operation Eagle.

Are mainland chickens, ducks and geese replacing civet cats, bear gallbladders and monkey brains as the most popular black-market delicacies? Is a couple of sneezing chickens really worth causing the customs to tighten its surveillance, and making it more risky for the rest of us who only ever wanted to sneak in a couple of pirated DVDs?

Mainland chickens must cost next to nothing for people to go through the trouble of taking them on three-hour train rides. Child labor on farms, and fodders comprising wood shavings and pig feces, a rough calculation tells me a mainland chicken costs just a little more than a mainland egg.

As customs officers continue confiscating sneezing chickens hidden in fake LV bags, here sits our city, helpless, waiting for an epidemic to kick in.

Time Lines

If the banning of smoking in workplaces (which was first suggested by our government five years ago) gets a three-and-a-half-year grace period, is it still realistic to hope to see universal suffrage in this lifetime?

"We need to give time for smokers to quit and businesses to adjust," says secretary for health, welfare and food, who apparently was taught that "cold turkey" is but another exotic dish.

A rough estimate tells me that the percentage of business to be lost in restaurants and bars as a result of the ban will be smaller than the percentage of business they'd gained since soccer betting was legalized—a decision the government wasn't as hesitant in making.

PSB 101

Is it just me or is this a load of crap?

According to our Secretary for Commerce, Industry and Technology, the long-delayed review of local public service broadcasting will be "taken in a macro perspective, and will not pinpoint RTHK or any of its programs". But the Hong Kong Journalists Association is not convinced and is worried that RTHK will become the prime target of the review.

Help me out here. Am I missing some important insight? How practical can we expect this review to be if it's not even going to pinpoint RTHK—the only publicly funded broadcaster in Hong Kong? How can RTHK be considered just another member of the broadcast industry in the review when it's in fact a government department?

PSB as well as its regulations should be driven by public interest. Doesn't a broadcaster who thinks it's in the best interest of Hong Kongers to use public funds to air horseracing coverage just scream for a good spanking?

HKJA chairman said, "It would be a regressive step to force RTHK to become primarily a promoter of government policies." Well, duh. But who said anything about RTHK becoming a promoter of anything? The audience isn't (all) stupid. We're not going to sit next to the radio in a trance while being force fed "You love your country" jingles. Ratings will decide to what extent RTHK can effectively play the role of the government's voice. I think someone's just jelly that she didn't get appointed into the loop. If she had something smarter to say, perhaps she'll get picked next time. People have gotten too used to being on the defense and rejecting anything the government proposes. I think we can give this review a chance, considering its committee is free of government reps. Or maybe I'm just biased because two of the committee members are reps from BU, whose mass communications department kicks ass.

Dumped On

This came in my inbox today:

Subject: WTO - Things to avoid next week!

Dear friends,
Be alert and be safe! This is what I have heard from good sources.
Better be safe than sorry.
Got some info with regard to the world trade meetings this coming week, just a few notes to watch out as per various good sources:

1. Stay away from Wan Chai area as well as the Pacific Place area
2. Take other public transport instead of MTR during that week
3. Avoid Starbucks. (Starbucks is a possible target because of unfair trade between Starbucks and coffee bean grower)
4. Avoid TST area, especially Cultural Center and the waterfront area. Police forces will be concentrated in Wan Chai area, making TST area a vulnerable location for riots
5. Stay away from Victoria Park
6. Listen to radio frequently for updates of parades routes and STAY AWAY
7. Walk whenever possible because riots could put traffic to a complete halt
8. STAY HOME

First of all, if you need good sources to tell you to “be safe”, you’re already in great danger.

The proportion of news coverage has been suggesting that the WTO Summit is more anxiety-inducing for Hong Kongers than how disturbingly little we know about the avian flu outbreak being concealed in the mainland. The assumption being that farmers from developing countries—lacking decent education and having built up strong muscles from the daily hoeing—will resort to violent actions in their protests. So do watch out for those homemade crop bombs.

Secondly, coffee drinkers should realize by now that the coffee crisis is spread much further than your neighborhood Starbucks. There’s also poverty in every drop of that instant coffee you drink at home. Starbucks is no more of a possible target than your local supermarket, or anywhere else that sells milk, corn, coffee, cotton, chocolate, tomatoes, wheat byproducts, oranges, or peanuts.

Since we’re advised to stay clear of Wan Chai and TST, the only scene left for bar hoppers is Lan Kwai Fong. It’s the month of maximum alcohol consumption in our multinational city. The usual holiday / special event / Saturday night crowd will be out partying every night well into the new year, which makes the very happening Lan Kwai Fong the number-one terrorist attraction, naturally. I definitely agree that it’s better to be safe than sorry. So I’ve already taken the precautionary measure of partying in Lan Kwai Fong before the protestors even set foot in our city.

STAY HOME is apparently the only logical thing to do, since traffic could come to a complete halt anytime and the railways are said to be risky rides. “Home” may not be the best hideout for me though. While BEA’s decided to have its Wan Chai staff work from the Tai Koo Shing branch for the week, Delia School right next door is closing its gates and urging students to stay home. Guess I should feel lucky that I don’t work for the Asian Wall Street Journal and hence won’t be working from home. By the sound of all this, our office in San Po Kong might be the safest place to be for the duration of the summit. I sure hope everybody else buys the warning to avoid using the MTR. This might well be the only chance of me getting a seat on the train to and from work.

Hosting a big-boy event and having all eyes on a dot on the map for $256 million while bringing our routines to a standstill for two weeks in one of the busiest months of the year. Now this is fair tradeoff.

Fair trade, anyone?

Really?

Today's news: "HKU bans shark fin dishes", in the hope of not only encouraging its students, staff and alumni to eschew shark fin dishes at all times, but also to give a lead which others in Hong Kong will follow.

So this is what I missed out on not having gone to college in Hong Kong. The closest thing to a delicacy served on any University of Toronto campus was the occasional pizza slice that didn't taste day-old.

According to various reports, shark hunters kill an estimated 100 million sharks a year, many just for their fins.

Cornish, director of conservation with the Worldwide Fund for Nature in Hong Kong, coincidently a former HKU professor, said, "Our primary issue is not with this business of finning. It's a nasty thing to do, but we would be more concerned that it's a waste of edible meat."

Wow.

Good Intentions

Our tuna-can city accommodated 2.07 million visitors this past July—the month traditionally known as low tourism season. Now, if 9 million people can fit comfortably on a dot on the map, why can’t 29,000 lab mice fit in Disneyland?

Call me a pessimist, but Hong Kong Disneyland screams disaster to me. Two-hour waits for rides is nothing new for any decent theme park, but quarrel-inducing circular queues for cha-siu burgers, which I heard are rather dry despite having Lee Kum Kee as the park’s official sauce sponsor, will take longer than four weeks’ rehearsal for our city to get used to.

According to Henry Tang, Sunday’s overflow of visitors was a deliberate arrangement to test the threshold of the park’s capacity. Officials are suggesting all kinds of solution to the potential overflow of visitors; the most heard one being “we could always add more facilities”. But before that happens, visitors are urged to:

1. Commute by public transportation, because the parking lot has been proven to fill up in precisely eight-and-a-half minutes upon the opening of the gates. Though, the MTR Disneyland Resort Line, with Mickey-shaped windows that don’t open, is to be steered clear of by the claustrophobic.

2. Start their Disney adventure earlier in the day; spend their first bucket of gold on a late breakfast in one of the nine restaurants in the park so they won’t be hungry anytime near the restaurants’ busiest hours.

3. Similarly, have dinner before 5:30pm and get the hell out of there before peak hour hits.

30% of the lab mice polled said Hong Kong Disneyland, which is due to open officially in five days, is not worth a second visit. It’s magic, alright.

Now let’s not be so harsh. Really, how could we expect to pack 30,000 people in a park when it takes 14 bits of packaging to hold a box of mooncake?

In less than two weeks, 3 million empty mooncake boxes and tins, weighing some 750 tonnes, will be discarded in our tuna can. Here's a suggestion to the Home Affairs Bureau: A few hundred thousand of these mooncake boxes which, once emptied out, conveniently turn into storage containers treasured by most elderly people, can be distributed as concession prizes to those grammas who are not given good-fortune rice despite after spending hours in quarrel-inducing circular queues during the Hungry Ghosts Festival.