Nip/Tuck

It's a fact: The law of gravity rules out C-cup breasts on 163-cm 45-kg bodies.

A 23-year-old girl saved up some $40K last year for breast implants because she couldn't forget an ex-boyfriend's comments about her A-cups.

Replacing her drawer of lingerie would've been fun but was out of the question. Not only has the cost of her surgery and post-operative treatments left her family in debt, but she's lost her job in retail sales because of her prolonged recovery period and inability to be punctual thereafter. When you have C-cup breasts, scampering through the streets of Hong Kong to catch that 8:30 bus is too great a hazard.

The potential power of an ex-boyfriend's words is beyond my imagination. But the power of the girl's double-A-cup brain amazes me even more. Sagging comes second to cheating husbands in the list of women's biggest fears. Saving up $40K is enough of a challenge for a 23-year-old retail salesgirl; but it takes a lot more to agree to accelerate the sagging of one's own breasts. A C-cup implant is easily over 400cc. That tall cup at Starbucks I can barely finish in one sitting is only 355. Silicone would've been the lighter-weight and more natural-feeling option, unfortunately also the pricier option, which the 23-year-old bimbo-to-be didn't opt for. I take it saline weighs about the same as low-fat latte, of which I've had experience carrying two around (in my hands, that is). It's no joyride.

The result: the skin under her breasts gave in to the burden and ripped open. After three attempts to re-stitch, the cracks only got bigger. So the implants were finally pulled out. Back to A-cups, plus scars, jobless and $40K poorer. But hey, censored (and some not so much) images of her breasts and scars made magazine covers and are all over the city's newsstands this week. Would've made her ex-boyfriend very proud.

Speaking of vanity, a group of scientists in Hong Kong spent five months doing what?