MTR Revisited

More than 785 million passenger journeys are taken on the Hong Kong Mass Transit Railway system annually. It seems the sole purpose of 700 million of these are to hinder other commuters from getting on the train. It's bad enough that I must travel on three separate trains before even getting close to my workplace. But when fellow canned sardines block the doors like soccer players guarding the goal against a penalty kick when there's clearly an air pocket behind them, that just pisses me off.

Just this morning, a brown suited barbarian put up a good show trying to shove me out of the train at Tai Koo twice before the door closed, and of course I didn't fail to grant our audience a nice come back by shoving her further into the train. It was almost like Superbowl Sunday. The door closed and my face was forced flat against it. The crowd cheered for my triumph. With my build, it's hard to lose. But at her typical Hong Kong anorexic girl size, a nudge by her razor-sharp elbow can be lethal.

You'd think that once on the train, you're safe. But mind you you're now in close proximity with numerous pole-leaners and leg-crossers. The city's Equal Opportunities Commission has ensured that those deprived of a healthy spine to hold up their own bodies and must rely on the sturdy steel poles in the train to hold them up against gravity are also entitled to commute on the MTR, just as those whose legs would lock into scissors positions as soon as their buttocks come into contact with a horizontal platform, even if it means stamping their shoe prints onto the white pants of a standing sardine.

And then there are the paper-readers. I really think the standard size of newspapers sold in a city should be negatively proportional to the population density of that city. Because people seem to think that a paper in hand grants them the power to mark territories in public transportations. When you step over that boundary line, no alarm will sound but you'll get a gaze from infrared eyes that shoot out laser beams.

I only wish the list ends here. But without these distinct characteristics of Hong Kong's population of canned sardines, I might just have nothing to blog about.

With the two long weekends coming up, I think I'm really going to miss the intimacy with my fellow cat food.