The Office

At my first interview for this job, I was told that the company was planning to move in a few months' time ― still in Wan Chai but closer to the MTR station.

We're moving to Quarry Bay next month ― No, not to Tai Koo Place. In place of the current office location somewhere between Wan Chai and Causeway Bay, we're taking one between Quarry Bay and North Point, right in the center of the imaginary oval formed by the Eastern District Policy Headquarter, the North Point Fire Station, the ICAC and the Hong Kong Funeral Home.

When our MD, the fake McCoy, gave a PowerPoint presentation on the new office, he said one of the reasons why we had to move was because our current office location didn't reflect our company brand value.

So far, 90% of the clients / business partners who've heard about our new office location have shown nothing but skepticism on our company's financial situation. I myself am having a real hard time justifying working for a multinational company whose brand value is dropping this far, this fast.

The nameless building is a good 240m's shelterless walk from the closest MTR exit; the exit is some 300m from the platform measured in a level straight line. Yet, the fake McCoy had the guts to tell us, repeatedly, that he'd personally tested and confirmed that it takes a mere seven minutes to walk at a graceful pace to the office from the moment you step off the train on the Quarry Bay platform. One of these days, everyone in the office is going to get an anonymous email with a YouTube link to a real-time video of a journey called "Seven Minutes My Ass".

To ensure nobody breaks his record for the biggest load of crap that's ever come out of an MD's mouth, the fake McCoy told my boss that the staff wouldn't care how inconvenient the new office location is because we’d be busy dropping our jaws for the beautiful interior.

I'm dying to see the emerald-studded carpet.