MTR Rerevisited

Maxim's has long established itself as the omnipresent bakery of our city, with at least one branch in every single station on the MTR route map. But that's not enough to satisfy hungry Hong Kongers. There's a whole list of other food choices readily available inside MTR stations, including four other bakeries selling exactly the same selection of buns as Maxim's. There's also Mrs Field's for cookies; Wing Wah for Chinese cookies; Haagen Dazs; Starbucks; Delifrance; Pret A Manger; and the list goes on. MTR Corp has been getting really fat by leasing station space to create miniature confectionary buffets. Its passengers would've been clinically obese by now, if it wasn't for the MTR by-laws, which states that anyone caught eating or drinking in MTR premises is liable to be prosecuted with a maximum penalty of a $2,000 fine. It's MTR's way of saying: Here's your cake, but you ain't eating it.

I reckon most people who prefer the MTR to other modes of transportation do so for the same reason as me--for its reliability. There's the occasional delay, but never traffic jam. I'd say I spend six to eight hours on "MTR premises" every week. I have, on very few occasions, seen commuters eat or drink on the train. And when I do witness someone "breaking the law", it's usually in the form of stuffing one's own face deep into the Maxim's plastic bag that holds an innocent sausage roll, or sipping from a harmless bottle of green tea through a straw and recapping it immediately after, leaving crumbs and droplets so small they're invisible to the naked eye. I have yet to see a hot pot feast on a train.

The most common type of mess I come across on MTR trains involve abandoned copies of the free publications passengers pick up from inside MTR premises. Other forms include ma lud los' boogers; mainlander's spit; si lais' nail clippings; the lingering smell of an egg fart; water dripping from umbrellas on rainy days; and the list goes on.

MTR's "customer care team", established in January, has been giving warnings to commuters who "misbehaved". The team reported 8,000 cases, 70% of which were eating-/drinking-related. 8,000 cases in the first three months, that's less than 89 cases per day, out of the reported 2.4 million MTR commuters every weekday. In my opinion, this number indicates that either Hong Kong residents are really well behaved, or the customer care team has been slacking off.

Aren't all Hong Kongers in a hurry? Isn't that why 2.4 million of us take the MTR every day? Isn't it sad enough that we're so busy making transfers that we have no time to sit down for decent meals? Is it really so bad that we chew on a sausage roll from inside a plastic bag while we rush from work to night school? Even though our city is but a dot on the map, it takes well over an hour to get from one end of the MTR route to the other. Must passengers exit the train and the gate to be outside MTR premises just to take a sip of water should they get thirsty in the midst of a journey? Where is the "convenience" MTR was set out to provide?

One of the most astounding things I observed when I was in Tokyo was the quiet train rides. In the city that sells cell phones in vending machines, nobody talks on the phone on trains. There's no sharing office gossip / family secrets with fellow passengers; there's not even an MP3 ring. And although there's no restriction against eating on trains, we stupid tourists are the only ones who'd even sneak a French fry out of the doggy bag.

If MTR must keep its customer care team, I suggest they "care" about the more important guidelines that passengers should be following, like offering your seat to the elderly; letting passengers exit the train before elbowing your way in; observing the unwritten rule of "one-seat one-ass"; keeping fellow passengers' pants free of your ADD children's shoeprints; and the list goes on.

The current tasks of the MTR customer care team are about as meaningful as the job of that concierge person in our office building in charge of attacking the elevator button in the lobby, or that usher at AMC Festival Walk who, upon the start of the featured presentation, shushes the audience. (Yes, AMC actually has shushers now.)