The Call

Why is it that when someone’s about to die, friends and relatives, no matter how distant, are called to the hospital to say goodbye? Having to see a dying person, who’s usually skinny, bald, hooked on to multiple machines and has tubes sticking out of various places, with barely enough strength to blink, is awkward enough; let alone the fact that you probably haven’t seen this person in years and didn’t even know he was sick until you get the call and learn that he’s about to kick the bucket.

The whole “saying goodbye” thing is so overrated. What is the point of seeing someone one last time if you haven't cared enough to see him for so long that if it weren't for the call, he could've died years ago without you ever knowing? I think most people just do it for the sake of having something to talk about later at the funeral, and avoid any possible guilt trip for not having responded to the call.

When I'm on my death bed, the last thing I’d want is for my most vulnerable side to be put on exhibit. Not to distant relatives, not to old friends, not to anyone who hasn’t been close enough to know firsthand about whatever condition I'm suffering from, which is probably going to be a combination of cancers resulting from cell phone radiation, toxin intake from fast food, and constant emotional distress.

And when I’m about to go into the light, I certainly don’t want to hear “so and so are on their way here”. I wait for no one.