D(ating)UI

F said he was visiting Hong Kong for “work stuff”. But S and G knew him better than that and pried into his real motives: to avoid his girlfriend in Toronto, and at the same time woo another girl in Hong Kong.

TOgirl was a drunken mistake, so F claims. He never liked her to begin with; he was just too drunk and horny to not sleep with her. Then he took responsibility for his actions the only way his little brain knew how. Not counting the gap in January when he tried to end the relationship, they’ve been together for a whole 10 months now. She’s a party girl and a smoker, anything but F’s type. And, she’s using a lot of F’s money. “How is she using your money?” I asked, “You got her a supplementary card?”

“No. I buy her stuff.”

A laptop, a PDA phone, an LV purse, he started counting. “That’s just how I treat girlfriends,” he sounded almost proud.

F recited a long list of reasons to justify for wanting to break up with TOgirl. But the point is: he didn’t. He could’ve broken it off before his trip to Hong Kong, and started with a clean slate with HKgirl. But he didn’t.

“I’m trying to get her to break up with me,” he said it like he was the first man to have ever thought of that.

Having been stuck in a relationship for 10 months with someone he doesn’t like and pseudo-unwillingly spending how many thousands of very expensive Canadian dollars on her, I would have thought breaking up was the easy part.

“You said you broke up with her once in January, how did you end up back together?” I asked my scumbag friend.

“I sent her flowers."

And women are supposed to be the incomprehensible species.