Jail Time Barbie

For every four days of good behavior, the rest of Paris Hilton's 45-day sentence can be reduced by one day. That means she could be getting out before they could bring in Nicole Richie, whose verdict isn't till the end of the month. The court should've ordered the filming of the next season of "The Simple Life" to take place in the LA county jail. I'd like to see these girls try and charm their way out of this.

That's hot, alright.

The princess was released early by Sheriff Baca, who has a reputation for giving special treatments to celebrity inmates, after spending just three days in stripes, on the grounds of an unspecified medical condition that was later quoted by Fox News as a "nervous breakdown". This is not a medical condition or even a scientific term but simply defined as an "incapacitating emotional disorder". For someone who's had but one single stressful episode in her life known as "A Night in Paris", jail time must wear her out more than it does anybody else. In severe cases, a nervous breakdown could lead to the mental detachment from reality. So really, Paris has nothing to worry about, since she's already suffered from this condition her entire life.

This is poor parenting at its worst. Which loving mother would let her kid drive under the influence multiple times on a suspended license? Just how much more time, money and energy must Californians waste on educating the world's most spoiled brats and stupid parents? Hopefully this lesson is hard-leaned enough for Paris. And the Hilton family really has judge Sauer to thank for teaching it.