MA

Some months ago I was asked to speak in a seminar and share my experience with prospective students of the distance-learning master program I had just completed. I didn't do it, because I didn't think I could live with myself for recommending to anyone the program I so wanted to get out of.

I still have nothing good to say about the master program, except that it's finally over. But to those considering getting themselves into distance learning postgraduate studies, I'll say this: Don't do it unless:

1. Your day job leaves you enough time and energy to do the shitload of reading and writing required for self-study programs;
2. The program is backed by word-of-mouth of students from past intakes, not just self-claimed "reputation" by the institution or the agent;
3. The curriculum is not from the last decade and is practical for your purposes;
4. The local tutor hired for your program, regardless of his/her credentials, speaks in a dialect you can understand;
5. The agent, which you'd rely on for all administrative matters, has a decent management and does not have a staff turnover that leaves you with seven people trying (some harder than others) to handle your administrative matters over the course of your program; and
6. That you can afford the tuition and all that they'll want to milk out of you before you break away:

• Two-year master program in mass communications at the University of Leicester: GBP5,600
• Graduation photos: HK$300
• Rental of gown and mortar board at Victoria Uniform in Hong Kong: HK$125
• Rental of graduation hood from U of L: HK$640*
• One graduate ticket and three guest tickets for the simu-graduation ceremony in Hong Kong (HK$79.90 late dinner buffet included): HK$1,560
• Not being able to enjoy my graduation ceremony tomorrow night due to preoccupation with kicking myself: priceless

* Rental fee does NOT include deposit (deposit is another HK$600). Yes, we must fork out HK$640 to RENT this worn out piece of cloth from U of L just to be allowed to join the ceremony. I'm used to seeing gleamy-fabric hoods in bright celebratory colors. But the blood-and-ash two-toned hood we got truly reflects the nature of our program. What can I say, it really brings out my...bitterness.