Engrish

Miss Lee was fat and short, with glasses and curly hair, and sounded like Eric Tsang. Actually, she was a lot like how Eric Tsang would look in a dress and wig. She's one of the few teachers I still have a distinct visual memory of from North Point Government Primary School, not because she was the last homeroom teacher I had in Hong Kong before moving to Toronto, but because she was incredibly mean.

I first met Miss Lee in grade 3. She was our English teacher. She made up insulting nicknames for most of the students. I remember being called "the forgetful four eyes" when I report having misplaced my glasses. As a nine-year-old, losing my glasses was devastating enough because that meant getting a good scolding or even a beating from Mom . But being humiliated by a teacher in front of the entire class was really something else. Though I must say I was already among the luckier ones because I got good grades. One boy was repeated referred to as "dried bitter melon" because he couldn't hide his depressing facial expression while being bullied by the teacher. Miss Lee also enjoyed depriving students of recess periods. One day, at the sound of the bell at the end of English class, she made all 40 of us stand up, and asked each of us, one by one, to say the word "name". Only those who could nail the pronunciation would be dismissed. I passed at the first try, but I always wondered how many of my classmates ended up breaking down crying.

Interesting enough, when I had Miss Lee again (for English and homeroom) in grade 5, she did not once humiliate me. My status as a top student of the class gave me immunity to her torture. Might I even dare say that she loved me.

Some 1,500 English teachers might soon lose their jobs after failing the language proficiency assessment tests. Results showed lack of understanding of English grammar, and lack of ability to discuss language matters in a professional context. The Examination and Assessment Authority said in an analysis that "common problem areas included tense, subject-verb agreement, relative pronouns, voice, connectives, pronoun reference, word classes and prepositions."...So what other areas does that leave? The Professional Teachers' Union boycotted the first tests in 2001 saying it was an insult to their profession. Since then, teachers have had five years to prepare for this assessment test. The latest results are outright an insult to Hong Kong students. It's no wonder so many parents have resorted to relying on their Filipino domestic helpers to double as their kids' English tutors.

My good grades were not in any way a result of Miss Lee's efforts as a teacher, even though I believe if she's still in the field and had taken the assessment test she would've passed with ease. In many ways, Filipino domestic helpers make better teachers than stressed out, psychotic, middle-aged Hong Kong women like Miss Lee. I suggest those teachers who've passed the language assessment tests to be put through another round of evaluation—of abusive tendency. Thinking of Miss Lee made me think of my classmates from North Point Primary; I wonder what emotional scars each of them sustained from Miss Lee's lessons.